20 annoyances of Facebook

20 Things Your Most Annoying Friends Do on Facebook
08/14/12 by Stephanie Buck

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1. TMI Parents
We love your babies, really we do. We do not, however, relish vivid descriptions of their every wee wee and poopee. And we especially don't look forward to 46 similar posts every single day.


2. Marketing
Congratulations, you have a job! So does the majority of the rest of the 900 million people on Facebook.

We simply ask one favor: If you wish to market, create a marketing page. If you wish to lose all your friends, keep spamming them with P90X ads.


3. Vaguebooking
Urban Dictionary defines "vaguebooking" as the following: "An intentionally vague Facebook status update that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help."

See also:

"Wondering if it's all worth it..."
"Yep, that just happened."
"Karma is a bitch."

4. Unsolicited Check-Ins
I really don't think anyone cares about our third trip to Dunkin' Donuts this week. For that matter, I'd prefer if my boss didn't learn about our weeknight rendezvous at **FREE-Tuesday-Night-Jager-Shots-With-Purchase-of-PBR-Tall-Can Tavern.**


5. The Humblebrag
"Sometimes I wish I wasn't 5'10" and stunningly gorgeous because then I could just walk in peace."


6. Vanity
MySpace may have popularized the "selfie," but we're pretty sure Facebook is keeping it alive and well.


7. Song Lyrics
We're not total squares. We appreciate a good tune now and again. But somehow, reading your ass-random song lyrics out of context doesn't toot our trumpet, if you know what I mean.


8. Political Rants
Does [insert politician here] reward you for being his top ultra liberal/conservative social media mouthpiece? He should.


9. The Twitter Sync
HT @mention, @mention FWIW, Twitter is not the same as FB. #kthanksbye.


10. Third Person
There's a reason people on Facebook discontinued the third person status update. Because it got old. Ergo, stop doing it.


11. The Phantom Tag
I am not in that sunset picture, but you seem to want me to be. Or you just want me to hate you.

Variation: Any post that ends with "Amirite? [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name]."


12. Creepers
It's so refreshing to know that people subscribe to you for your intelligence and wit. Oh right, that and marriage proposals.


13. Publicizing Private Moments
A) Full-blown conversations on Facebook between a couple that sees each other every day and may even be sitting next to each other on the couch, for all we know.

B) Posting publicly about private or sensitive matters pertaining to family, friends, legal matters, religious beliefs, health, violence or even feminine hygiene products (yes, we've seen it).

KITY (Keep It to Yourself).


14. Unnecessary Name Changes
When did it become trendy to go by your middle name instead of your last name? Some of us missed the memo.


15. Month-Long Events
Creating a month-long event? Cool. Now I have 30 days to plot my revenge.


16. The Shared Profile
There's no reason you and your partner should maintain separate profiles — you breathe the same air, keep the same secrets and mourn the same crippled identity, right?


17. Urban Legends / Chain Letters
"Repost this Facebook status to protect your privacy!" Sound familiar?

Fake rumors like these often start as political, marketing or social campaigns, and are designed to spread awareness through fear. But really, it's the people who blindly perpetuate these rumors who should be afraid — very afraid.


18. The "Arm Triangle of Insecurity"
The hand-on-hip trick creates a slimming effect, also known as the "skinny arm." It's especially effective when paired with a bent knee and photographed from the side.

Only problem is it's no longer a secret of the sorority pros. Now everyone knows you're just trying to look skinny.

Image courtesy of Flickr, Greek@Duke


19. Mundane Posts + Exercise Bragging
It's really important that every single one of your 400 Facebook friends knows that you're training for a 5K, that you stubbed your big toe during a recent jog, and that your runner's diet of chia seeds is doing wonders for your digestion.


20. Redundant Links
Pet peeve: people who don't remove the URL once they've copy/pasted it into a status update. Result: ilooklikebarackobama.com on top of ilooklikebarackobama.com. Hurts my eyes.


Either we’re getting old and grouchy or Facebook is becoming a lot less tolerable these days. Once we filter through pictures of baby’s first potty training and epic love poems of the newly engaged, we’re left with political diatribes and spam — and yes, all of it from our “friends.”

SEE ALSO: The Most Annoying Person on Facebook [COMIC]
In a long-winded, therapeutic email thread, Mashable staffers vented about our biggest Facebook pet peeves. Once I removed the NSFW language and CAPS LOCK cyber-rants, I narrowed down the list to the 20 most annoying behaviors on Facebook.

Perhaps your friends are guilty of one or — God forbid — all of these Facebook mortal sins. Maybe even you have erred from time to time (we forgive you, but please stop). Either way, now’s your chance to contribute your own nominations for world’s worst Facebook manners. Vent away in the comments below.

Thumbnail image courtesy of Flickr, Tuomas Puikkonen.